a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
