11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
