considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
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Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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