"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
