Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
