You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
