I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
