planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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