I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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