i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
