The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
