ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I think I just sharted jello shots
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