She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I still have a little drunk in my system
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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