I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
