i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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