When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
