Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
