Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
