Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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