Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
