I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
