I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
is that a dick in a sweater?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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