so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
