youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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