i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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