i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
