I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
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New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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