All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
