FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
