Already got asked if we're dating
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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