How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
there's paper in my vomit.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
