Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
