Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
