is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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