I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
