Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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