If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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