I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
