I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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