so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
