we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Acid is not a monday night drug
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Do you remember whose house we're in?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
