My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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