sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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