How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
