so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
