Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
