cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Randomize
