Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize