She's JV to your varsity
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
