I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
