Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
this is an emotional support booty call
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
