Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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