did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
