I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
