Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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