how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented taco cereal.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize