So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
