I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
