I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
