nut hugger
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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