me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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