I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
