I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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