hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
