ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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