it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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