Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
so let's talk penis.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
